Sunday, May 20, 2012

Learning To Balance Expectations in the Real World


[ èk spek táysh'n ]

Anticipation of something happening: a confident belief or strong hope that a particular event will happen
(Encarta® World English Dictionary [North American Edition] © & (P) 2009 Microsoft Corporation.)

I would be lying if I didn’t admit to having major expectations after WLS. Weight loss, of course, is the major one but in my mind’s eye there are others as well. I want to be able to participate in life more. I’ve started back going to movies and I’m getting out more. My focus on weight loss has always been from a life standpoint. What I mean is I had this procedure to be able to live the life I want to live and not be a skinny girl. I want to live a full, participatory life! I want to be able to travel and see the world. I want to love on my hubby and my family. I want to live life!!!

What I failed to anticipate was OTHER people’s expectations. As we are coming to the close of school, one of the main comments I keep hearing is “When we come back from summer, we won’t hardly recognize you!”


I realize these people mean well but I’m beyond frustrated with their projecting their expectations on me. Of course, I will be still working on weight loss this summer and I know that some of the commenters mean well but I am also aware there are some who are waiting to see me fail.  Talk about pressure I don't need! 

When I saw the above image, I realized I had to focus on my own expectations and my own motivations.  In the past, Big Beautiful Diva would have internalized it all and ate those feeling.  For a while, it did bother me but I've come to realize several important facts.

  1. This is my life and I'm going to live it in the way the makes ME happy and my family proud! 
  2. I can accept the fact there will be those who want to see me stumble.  It's their issue and not mine.  I can't take it personally! 
  3. There will be time that I will stumble.  I'll get back up and keep going.
  4. I will continue to surround myself with positive, inspirational people.  
  5. Needing support does not make you weak.  It only means you are strong enough to admit you need help.
I hope everyone is having a great day.  Much love and as always, SMOOCHES!! 

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Saturday in the park!

It has been an interesting 10 months.  So many changes have come about and with them, changes in perception and attitude, both mine and others.  But first things first.  My Saturday has started out great.  I have a load of clothes in the washer, breakfast on the table for DH and I gathered my first harvest from my basil plants!
This is a big bowl and I'm thrilled they are growing so well!  I wish I could do scratch and sniff because the basil smells wonderful!  These will be dried (low heat, 200 degrees) and stored in an airtight jar.  It so wonderful in so many dishes and when you compare store basil that is mostly stems, this is so worth the effort of drying your own.  My other plants are doing well and I can't wait to see what bounty they will bring.

I was saddened by the news of the death of Adam Yauch, better known as MCA of the Beastie Boys.  The first song I remember hearing from them was Brass Monkey.  It was my senior year of high school and for a bunch of African-american kids, it was a pivotal moment.  It was the first time we had heard white guys rap and it was so different from what we had heard before.  It was mind blowing and we loved it!  RIP, MCA - You changed us all so much!

I guess it's also time to post a picture of myself to just let my few readers see my progress.  I was blown away when I saw the difference but here goes nothing:

It's just wow to me.  I have no words so I'll move on.  We have plans to go to the Swinging Bridge Festival.  It's a local thing but it sounds like fun and it's a beautiful Saturday to be out and about.  Have a good weekend, my friends and until next time,