Saturday, March 26, 2011

Jealously In The Grocery Store

Learning to adjust my eating habits haven't been THAT hard... ok, so maybe I stretched the truth a little bit but my house is void of all the treats it used to hold. The big issue comes when I'm NOT at home.

Out in the land of coke and fries, it's like swimming with the sharks. Tasty treats beckon and I've become pretty adept in ignoring that little voice that says "just one won't hurt". Yeah, right! It's easier to make the right choices on the front end than deal with the guilt on the back end.

But back to the title. Hubby and I went to Sam's to buy household goods. (Let's face it, bulk tissue does rock! :).) Sam's has always served as a place of serious impulse spending for me. In the past, leaving with a ton of unnecessary junk was de rigour. That included all kinds of snacks. Chips, snack cakes and cookies all made their way home. Couple that fact with the jumbo packs and can you see the disaster?

So I'm pushing my cart loaded with household stuff and approved snack items, feeling good because I've dodged several triggers (chips, the bakery). As I was waiting for hubby near the cash registers (comfy patio furniture), I watched the baskets of others. I saw bags of chips, boxes of frozen pizzas, sugary drinks, and bakery delights. Looking at my own basket, I saw tissue, washing powder, greek yogurt and salt-free seasoning.

A moment of anger and jealousy went through me. I could hear that voice in my head, all whiny and petulant, gripping about how unfair it was. I want the "good" stuff too! I had to come back to myself and realize how much harm all those "good" things have done to me. I thought about how eating healthy will do long term good things FOR me! The moment passed and I came to understand within myself the need to acknowledge those feelings but instead of turning to food to self medicate, just embrace it and reflect on it. Knowing and understanding the path makes it so much easier to travel.

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